The power of emotional excuses

We all make them. Excuses. Especially when it comes to something for ourselves. This is written to my peeps. Yup, I said “peeps.” My tribe. My colleagues in the education industry. My - I’m just swimming enough to keep my head above water - fellow parents of young children.

Things are not easy right now. The daily grind is chaotic. Work is busy. Families are full of energy-because if your weather is anything like the weather here in Western NY, it’s been chilly and rainy for what feels like weeks, which means we are all a bit stir crazy!

BUT this is when we need to tune into ourselves the most. This is when we often have emotional reactions to things that are said to us. In the classroom, if students are short with us or are giving us attitudes, we may find ourselves mirroring a snarky response. When the kids are running in circles whining, “Mama, I want juice!” or “Daddy, I need my crayons!” and we are wondering where our sweet, well-mannered children have disappeared to, the simple tone of our response escalates out of pure annoyance. Or with our partners when they don’t get to unloading the dishes or changing over the laundry like you had asked help with, it’s flipping annoying. But, is the emotional reaction really worth the argument or hurt feelings that would likely follow? This is where the power of restraint - the power of mindful restraint - shines.

Pause.
Observe.
Restrain.
Breathe.
Respond.

How do you cultivate the superpower of recognizing when it’s time to pause, observe, restrain, breathe and respond? Just sit. Everyday. Start with 3 minutes, then treat yourself to 4...5...10 minutes a day. There is no wrong way to give yourself the power of a sit. Focus on your breath, or the sounds around you. Repeat a mantra to calm your mind. Over time, research has proven that your brain will begin physically changing for the better to help you see the big picture more clearly and with more empathy. (For more information on how this is possible, check out this article from Psychology Today)

And before you creatively respond with something along the lines of, “I just don’t have the time right now. The kids have basketball everynight, it's conference and report card time, the holidays are coming...” Pause and think about that response. Is that an emotional reaction to the idea-an anxious reaction? I might have to say so... So, let's regain power. Take emotion out of the excuse and picture yourself sitting in a quiet space. Can you see it? If so, you can do it. Commit to yourself. Commit to your “peeps.” It’s a win for all involved!

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